


Ready For Anything

by TheStageManager



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Anakin Skywalker is the embodiment of chaos, Cody needs a hug, Cody needs some xanax, Gen, Human Disaster Anakin Skywalker, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:55:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23564878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheStageManager/pseuds/TheStageManager
Summary: Inspired by the vine: “What the fuck is going on in here on this day?"Cody needs structure, order and stability to function. General Skywalker is the living embodiment of chaos. Nothing he says makes any goddamn sense and poor Cody just wants to finish the mission and go home.
Relationships: CC-2224 | Cody & Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 7
Kudos: 105





	Ready For Anything

**Author's Note:**

> The Vine: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GBCr-tAsKTc

“We follow. We swoop! We sneak. We fire. We win!” General Skywalker proclaimed and from behind his bucket, Cody stared, unblinking at his general.

“I don’t- I’m sorry, sir. I don’t understand what you’re saying,” huffed Cody, who's self-respect was fading rapidly. 

Skywalker’s face twitched and Cody curled and uncurled his gloved hands with an effort to distract himself from the relentlessly rising urge to smack his General right in the face because: Force dammit! That’s not a battle plan! It’s a bunch of meaningless words slapped together like a toddler making paper mâché! He exhaled slowly through his teeth. He’d have to see Helix after this mission: he wanted to check for high blood pressure, stress ulcers, and the possibility of _actively having a stroke every time General Skywalker spoke._

“We’re a small vessel. What we lack for in size, we make up for in speed and maneuverability. There’s a large asteroid, composed mostly of heavy metals, that’s going to be passing our position in a few hours. Early scans indicate its intended trajectory will have it passing relatively close to the enemy blockade. If we fly behind it and get close enough, the asteroid’s gravity and radiation should be heavy enough shield us from their scanners,” Ahsoka explained and, Force bless Ahsoka for her relative level-headedness in spite of her heritage. (Honestly! Kebobi was a mess! Skywalker was a mess! It was a miracle Ahsoka wasn’t dead yet, having inherited both master’s penchants for _recklessness and utter stupidity._ )

Cody nodded, appeased (at least for the moment) by the explanation. It was, for the most part, a logical plan. (Thank the Force.) Except…

“But if we’re so close to the thing, won’t the radiation mess with _our_ scanners too?” he asked.

Skywalker’s face absolutely _lit up._

“Oh, not just our scanners,” Rex said, clapping Cody on the shoulder. The bastard Cody called a brother had the audacity to sound every bit as gleeful as Skywalker looked. What the hell had they done to him? Rex used to be such a stickler for the rules! Such a well-organized clone! What the hell had they done to him? Ruined a perfectly good clone, that’s what they did. Free-thinking was well and good, but _Rex_ was practically _embracing the chaos_. “All of our systems are going to be effected,” Rex finished.

“All of them?” Cody sputtered in utter indignation. (Well… he _wanted_ to sputter in indignation. But he was above that. So instead of sputtering, he ground it out through his teeth.)

“Oh, just the major ones,” Ahsoka cut in, grinning. Dammit! Her too? Was everybody in this goddamn hellhole a karking adrenaline junky?

Order! Structure! Stability! Organization! Those were the things Cody thrived on. He was a clone! The desire to follow orders was build _into his DNA_ (more so than he ever really knew.) And he couldn’t follow orders if they didn’t make _any goddamn sense!_

“Such as…?” Cody prompted.

“Navigation and hyperdrive are guaranteed to shut down. Weapons are a solid _maybe_ but we’re mostly sure that Life Support should be fine,” Rex said, and Cody could hear the smugness in his voice. Rex _knew_ this was getting on Cody’s nerves.

Karking bastard.

“So… if navigation is going to be down, for the most part, then how the hell are we meant to stay behind that asteroid?” Cody guffawed. This was ridiculous. None of this could be real, right? It was a joke, right? A stupid, stupid joke? A prank General Kenobi had concocted to get him to ‘ _loosen up a little_ ’?

“He’s got a good point,” Skywalker mused and Cody wanted to _sing_. “Landing and docking systems should still be operational, shouldn’t they?” he asked, mostly talking to himself. He crossed his arms and furrowed his brow, deep in thought.

Meanwhile, Commander Tano _shrugged_ any Rex _snickered._

Cody was going to burst a blood vessel.

R2-D2 beeped something (rather crass) about hotwiring the fragment links and superseding the binary rotational display might temporarily channel life-support powers into the landing and docking systems. The droid was proposing _shutting down life-support_ to do _what?_ Land on the-

“Sir, with all due respect, you’re not planning on _landing_ on that asteroid, are you?” Cody demanded, resisting the incredible urge to punt Skywalkers stupid droid into The Void.

Skywalker looked up, his face tight with thought, and for a moment, Cody thought he was about to get chewed out. So the clone stood up straighter, his knees locking stiffly in his armor.

“No, no, no… I was thinking about tethering ourselves to it by launching a couple of durasteel cables out to it,” Skywalker began. That, in and of itself, was an idiotic plan, but at least it was a plan. It was comforting to know that Skywalker had at least one braincell bounding around that head of his. “See, if we powered down our systems, we could tether ourselves to the asteroid, and then release ourselves at the right time. We could fling ourselves towards the blockade and they might think we’re just a bit of debris. Everything except life support would be down, so, if we got caught up in the gravity of the planet, we’d channel life support into landing and-“

“And land on the planet completely undetectable, until it was too late,” Cody finished, catching up. He couldn’t deny, it wasn’t a _bad_ plan. It was a stupid, reckless, dumbass plan. But considering he was working with the 501st, it was probably the best he’d get. “An admirable plan, sir,” he praised.

Then, something absolutely horrible happened, and Skywalker’s face twisted up into a smirk. “However, now that you mention it, landing on the asteroid itself might save us a couple of steps,”

And Cody’s blood pressure tripled.

“Sir, does a ship of that size even have shielding strong enough to block out radiation from that proximity?” Cody asked, really, honestly trying to stay calm and professional.

“Not sure. We can make some modifications while we wait,” Skywalker said.

Modifications!!!! When? With what time? In the two hours before the asteroid passed beside them? No. Absolutely not.

“Sir, and what if the asteroid passes too close to their ships and the seppies blow it up?” Cody demanded.

“Great! Then we won’t have to go through the process of lifting off. Alright, places everybody. Let’s get this done,” Skywalker said, finalizing the briefing with a confident smirk.

Cody watched, utterly frozen, as Skywalker, Tano, and Rex separated and went to their presumed battle stations to prepare. Where the hell even _was_ Cody’s battle station?

“Okay, so the asteroid blows up, we get launched into space and, hopefully towards the planet. What then? What if we get propelled _away_ from the planet?” Cody shouted after Rex, the anger starting to rise up and spill out.

Rex turned around, straightened up to his full height, put his hands on his hips, and said, far too smugly for Cody’s liking: “Then, we improvise, _vod_!”

And Cody nearly lost his shit.


End file.
